February 2024 Newsletter

 

BORN TO BE BADGER

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“Was that you?”

Tock looked away from the waiting room TV screen with breaking news splashed across it and glared at Shay.

“No. That wasn’t me. I am much more eloquent . . . and subtle,” she answered.

“Subtle?”

“There is a skill involved in what I do.”

“What do you do?”

Tock and Shay looked down at the child who’d just asked that question and both replied, “Basketball.”

“I play basketball,” Tock reiterated.

“What does that have to do with that ship going down at the docks?” Dani asked, gesturing to the TV news they’d all been watching.

“You need a stupider child,” Tock informed her father.

“I really do.”

“Okay. Dr. Maurice is ready for you now.” The trio was led into another room with Princess and her crate of puppies.

Sadly, the shifter vet who handled dogs and cats as well as broken fangs, cracked claws, or torn groins after nasty fights couldn’t look at Shay’s puppies due to a packed schedule. So that meant they had to go to the vet’s office on the upper-level floors that were filled with full-humans. Not a problem, though. Tock was used to working with full-humans.

But while Tock felt completely comfortable, Shay clearly did not. She understood. All those full-humans in the waiting room who were completely unaware of the building’s lower levels that housed shifter-only sporting events, shifter-only food outlets and stores, and shifter-run offices didn’t know what to make of such a large man. To them, he looked terrifying.

Good thing Keane hadn’t come with them. These people might be taking their sick animals out of here just to get away from the terrifying Asian guys who had to turn slightly in order to get their massive shoulders through the average-sized doors.

It really didn’t help things either when Shay suddenly yawned and the noises that came out of him were not what anyone would call human. It wasn’t a growl or a roar, but it definitely wasn’t human. His daughter had giggled at the noise, but everyone else just seemed . . . well, yeah . . . terrified. Tock had never heard a noise like that come out of anyone. It was loud and low and his tongue rolled out of his mouth like a red carpet rolled out at a  movie premiere.

Thankfully, Dr. Maurice didn’t seem put off by Shay’s size, even though the cat took up a lot of space in the small exam room.

“I am really blown away,” the vet said, gawking at Princess in obvious wonder. “I have never seen a Tosa Inu before. They’re very rare in the States. She must have cost you a fortune.”

“Uh . . .”

“And very well trained if your daughter can hold her leash.” She smiled. “Which breeder did you get her from?”

“Uh . . .”

Fighting hard not to smile, Tock turned in her chair so she could look directly at Shay. She couldn’t wait for the cat’s answer.

“Actually . . . I got Princess and her brothers from the back of a truck at a King Kullen parking lot.”

Eyes wide, the vet began pointing at Princess. “This . . . this dog, you got from a grocery store parking lot?”

“Yeah. A man was giving them away and wanted to get out of there before the cops came. So I took three of them.”

“And . . . and you have those two brothers living together with their sister? At your house? With your very tiny daughter?”

“Well, before you worry, it wasn’t one of her brothers that . . . you know . . .”

“Knocked her up?” Tock asked.

Shay nodded. “Yeah. Exactly.”

“You’re sure?” the vet pushed.

“Yes. It was this stray pit bull that had been hanging around the neighborhood for a while. I caught them, uh . . . you know.”

Now the vet looked even more concerned. “So you’re telling me these puppies are a mix of Tosa Inu and pit bull?” the vet asked.

“Yeah. He was a big pit, too. Like, at least a hundred pounds.”

“Let me see if I understand . . . You bought dogs—”

“No. The guy just gave them to me. They were the last ones there and he had a scanner that told him the police were coming. He just wanted out of there.”

“Okay. So you got these dogs, tossed them into your—”

“Backyard.”

“Right. Backyard. Let a pit bull mate with one of them, and you now have a whole gang of random puppies.”

“Yes.”

Tock nodded her head and furrowed her brow as if she was simply listening intently to the conversation, but she had her hand across her mouth so Shay couldn’t see her grin. She hadn’t been so entertained in . . . years? Yeah. Maybe years.

Poor Dani, baby drama queen that she was, simply lowered her head and placed her hand over her face. She radiated embarrassment.

“Okay, first,” the vet said, “I’m going to suggest you take the leash from your daughter while I get out one of our emergency muzzles.”

“Why?” Shay glanced at his daughter and a calm Princess. “They’re fine.”

And sure, maybe Tock was wrong and there actually was a God, because it was at that moment the exam room door opened, and a vet tech walked in with a folder and—

Fangs bared, her vicious snarl filling the room, Princess hit the end of her leash, nearly taking poor Dani with her. But Tock grabbed the leash with one hand and smiled at the vet while Shay grabbed his child around the waist and pulled her onto his lap.

The vet tech immediately ran from the room, slamming the door behind her, and the vet tossed Shay the muzzle before announcing, “Well, we now know Princess is very protective of your daughter . . . so that’s nice!”

***

“Princess is a Tosa Inu,” the vet explained. “A very strong, very powerful dog from Japan. They look a lot like a mastiff but they’re not. They’re a Tosa Inu and they were originally bred for fighting.”

“What’s wrong with men?” Tock felt the need to ask Shay. “Why do you always have to make animals fight?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “You’re here?”

“And,” the vet continued, “because of their strength and power, they can be a very hard breed to handle.”

“Meaning . . . ?”

“That the only reason that dog hasn’t ripped your face off and used your daughter like a chew toy is because of what you are.”

Confused, Shay frowned and asked, “Mongolian?”

Tock covered her mouth but the laugh slipped out.

“What?”

“Daddy, I think Dr. Maurice means what you are. What we are.”

“What are you exactly?” The vet looked him over. “Bear?”

Now Tock just laughed out loud. The comment would only be a bigger insult if she’d called him a wolf.

“My daddy’s a tiger, Dr. Maurice.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Now Shay was panicked. This vet was definitely a full-human. “How do you know about . . . Would you please stop laughing!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Tock waved her hand in front of her face.

The vet lifted a puppy out of the crate and began her examination by weighing each one on a small scale.

“My husband is African wild dog,” she informed Shay in response to his partially asked question. “We met when I was in vet school. Sorry about calling you a bear. I don’t spend much time around big cats.”

After weighing each pup, she checked their heartbeats, claws, paws, and teeth.

“The puppies look great. Very healthy. Now, time to take a look at the momma.”

Shay put his arms around Princess and lifted her as he stood. Before he could put her on the exam table, though, Tock took the muzzle from Dani and stepped over to the pair so she could put it on the dog. That’s when Princess bared her fangs in warning at Tock for the first time.

“I know you didn’t just growl at me,” Tock told the dog.

Princess’s mouth relaxed, her hackles went down, and she yawned. Tock stepped close and put the bucket muzzle around the dog’s closed mouth.

Once secure, Shay put her on the exam table.

The vet examined the dog and took some blood. She asked about vaccines, and when Shay only gazed at her, she began writing furiously on her chart.

When Shay put Princess back on the floor, the vet said, “Mr. Malone, my strongest suggestion to you at this point is that you don’t place these puppies with anyone other than the big shifters. That includes the smaller cats and dogs. No bobcats. No foxes. No jackals. Apex predators only, please.”

“She’s fine with me,” Tock said. And when the vet only gazed at her, she added, “I’m honey badger.”

“Ah. The psychotic, rage-filled assholes of the wild? Yeah, I’m sure she’s fine with you, but my suggestion still stands. Bears. Lions. Tigers. Wolf Pack. And start socializing those puppies now.”

“You mean . . . socialize them outside their uncles and mother?”

The vet clenched her fists and, for a brief second, Shay was sure that the woman was going to punch him. But his daughter stepped forward and said, “Don’t worry, Dr. Maurice. I’ll be handling the puppies from now on.”

“Well, thank God for that. Unbelievable.” She shook her head at Shay. “You got them at a parking lot. Unbelievable.”