August 2025 Newsletter
TO KILL A BADGER
Available August 26, 2025!
Unedited/Unproofed
“Hi, Daddy!” Nelle greeted her father, waving at him on her phone.
“Is that Mr. Z? Hi, Mr. Z!” Max said from behind Nelle, resting her chin on Nelle’s shoulder. “It’s been ages, huh?”
“It has. How are you, Maximilian?”
“It’s just Max. And I’m great!”
“Haven’t you all been attacked by big cats and are currently in constant danger?”
“Yeah!” Max said with a smile before walking away.
“Your friend has not changed.”
“I know, Daddy.”
“So . . . you’re calling. Why?”
“Well, I’m trying to find contacts we can—”
“No.”
“No?” She stared at her father’s video image. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“You and your friends will have to work this out on your own.”
She immediately started speaking Cantonese. “But . . . I’m your little bird.”
“No. I said you were my little crested serpent eagle.”
“I like bird.”
He smiled. “I have faith in you, Nelle. You don’t need me.”
Nelle slipped off the raised bar chair she’d been sitting on and walked out of the kitchen.
“You’re right. I can do this on my own. But one of the family jets would be helpful, if we need them.”
“Nelle, you have your own jet.”
“I know. But yours are faster and have more weapons onboard. And your cheese plates are always exemplary.”
“We already allowed you access to the jets for your friends, and someone picked at the leather seats with their claws, and the whole thing smells like those cats you’ve been hanging around. Your mother is not happy. You know how she feels about cats.”
Nelle leaned closer so that her entire face would fill the screen of her father’s phone. “Pleaaaaaaaase, Daddy!”
He laughed. “You’re ridiculous. Always have been.”
“Well, I was Ma’s ‘unhappy surprise.’ Or . . . what was it? ‘Proof of a curse from our dead ancestors.’”
“You know your grandmother loves you.”
Nelle reached the couch and sat down. She sighed and leaned back.
“This could be bad, Dad. The Group, the BPC, the cats . . . they’re all out. Refusing to get involved and help us. And if my friends aren’t safe, I’m not—”
“I understand. You’re not safe either.”
“No. That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh.”
“In fact, I feel I’m perfectly safe.”
“Well, actually—”
“The Zhao name has tons of clout. What I was instead going to say, is if my friends aren’t safe, then I’m not happy. No one wants me to be unhappy, Daddy. Not even Mother.”
“I’m aware. In that one way, you are like her.”
“No need to get nasty.”
“Listen, my little crested serpent eagle—”
“Really, Daddy?”
“—I am wondering what that is behind you. That big angry face?”
Nelle looked over her shoulder at a scowling Keane.
“This is Keane Malone, Daddy,” she said in English, reaching back with her free hand to tap his chest. “He’s the reason I am currently safe. Wherever I go, he will go.”
“What about Charles?” the cat demanded. “Isn’t he your actual bodyguard?”
“He has other things to do.”
“You mean besides his job?” Keane snarled. “And why are you treating me like a chair?”
“This is my daddy,” she said to Keane, attempting to redirect him like she would an angry toddler.
“Hello, sir. Nice to meet you,” Keane said, surprising Nelle with the tiger’s sudden burst of strict politeness. She had to admit, she didn’t expect it, but she appreciated his tone toward her much-loved father. “But you should know . . . your daughter is clinically insane,” he added.
Now that she had expected from Keane Malone.
*****
When she’d sat down on the couch next to him, despite everyone else being off somewhere in the house doing other things, he hadn’t been surprised. He doubted she’d even noticed him sitting there, drinking another Guinness and watching TV. But then she’d leaned back against his arm while she talked on the phone and relaxed against him like it was completely normal and she didn’t know he was a man-eating tiger that held grudges.
“Are you saying that Van Holtz came to tell you these organizations weren’t going to help?” Mr. Zhao asked his very comfortable daughter still leaning against Keane like he was part of the couch.
“Yes, which I thought was strange. And a little rude. Appreciated . . . but strange.”
“It is strange. All they had to do was not help. One doesn’t really need to discuss that. Maybe they’re trying to tell you something with that bit of non-information.”
“Like what?”
“Let’s think about this logically, shall we?”
“Oh, Daddy, no,” she whined, tossing her head back, all that black hair falling onto Keane’s arm and shoulder. Some of the solid white strands hit him in the eyes, which he did not like. “Just tell me. No logic problems.”
“But you’re so good at them.”
“I know, but that’s not the point.”
“Maybe what they’re saying is you should find someone else to help you,” Keane cut in before the whining could continue.
Father and daughter gazed at him a moment before Mr. Zhao said, “So he’s smarter than he looks.”
“Sometimes. When he’s not slamming his head into walls.”
“I thought only bears did that sort of thing.”
“The bears are the walls, Daddy.”
“Ahh. He plays American football. I understand.”
“But this one reads books.”
“Oooh. That’s not common.”
“I know.”
“Okay, now this is just getting a little mean,” Keane noted.
The badger laughed. “Apologies, young man. And it was nice meeting you.”
“You, too, Sir.”
“And good luck to you, my little crested serpent eagle. Don’t do anything too bloody.”
“I won’t. And, Daddy. . . ?”
“Yes?”
“One of the family jets? One of the fast ones? And an assistant, perhaps? Because you love me so much?”
“One of the family jets?” Keane had to ask.
“Quiet, kitty.”
“Of course,” her father said.
“Yay!” she cheered.
“Under one condition.”
Nelle immediately stopped cheering. “You want me to be nice to Ma?”
“I always want you to be nice to your mother, but no. I want you to go to your sister’s dress fitting tomorrow.”
“I’d rather set myself on fire.”
“Nelle—”
“I don’t want to go! I don’t want to go to this wedding. I don’t want to be involved. I want nothing to do with this ridiculous endeavor.”
“I know. But I’m asking you as your father and the one who is going to allow you to use our fastest jet—”
“Fine.”
“Thank you, my little crested—”
“Daddy.”
The badger laughed, then ended the call.
Nelle lowered her phone and let out a sigh. “I can’t believe I have to go to that stupid dress fitting tomorrow. This is all Max’s fault. If I didn’t like her so much, I would have killed her for this.”
“That seems an extreme reaction over a wedding.”
“It’s not.” She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, then let it out. When she spoke again, she sounded much calmer. “But at least we have access to the family jets now. Because mine just won’t do. Your shoulders alone in that tiny thing.”
“You have a jet?”
“Why wouldn’t I have a jet?”
“And your family has a fleet of jets?”
“There are a lot of us.”
“And why would we need a jet?”
“Do you want us to fly commercial?”
“Like paupers, you mean?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But we both know you were thinking it.”
“Look, I don’t know if we’ll need the jet. But just in case . . . I like to be ready for anything.”
“I guess that makes sense. Still don’t know why I need to be involved, though.”
“You don’t need to worry about that right now. Just continue to look pretty.”
He wanted to be insulted. And maybe if someone else was saying it, he would be. Instead, Keane simply replied, “I always do.”
Then, out of nowhere, Nelle asked, “You want to find a room and have sex?”
Where the hell had that come from? Why was she asking him that? What was wrong with everyone in this house? It’s like they’d all collectively lost their one mind! “Pardon?”
“That’s not a no.”
“You are so insane.”
“All I’m saying is that it’s been a long, stressful day. I’m being forced to attend this ridiculous wedding by my own father who says he loves me. Now I’m not so sure. And I need to come up with some way to get even with Max.”
“How does any of that involve you having sex with me?”
“It’s just a lot to deal with. Sex helps me clear my mind so I can plan things. And since you’re here anyway . . .”
Since he was here anyway?
“Gee, thanks,” Keane snapped. “That makes me feel so special.”
“Did you want me to bring you flowers? Perhaps a box of imported chocolates?”
Deciding he was done with this conversation, Keane refocused on the TV and completely ignored the badger that was badgering him.
“Wow,” he heard her say as she exited the room. “If I didn’t know you were cat before, the level of disdain coming off you right now would have definitely clued me in.”
Well . . . cat disdain was a genetic feline ability.
